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The Son Who Slipped Through The Net

Valerie Brandling and her son, Michael.

“My son is 56 years old and I feel only now, people are listening to me,” said Valerie Brandling, whose son, Michael, has a learning disability and severe arthritis. “When I finally tried to get some help, I was told Michael had “slipped through the net” and had missed out on forty years of support – until then I had cared for him completely on my own.”

in 1950, Valerie came all the way from Jamaica to England to join her husband and work as a nurse. “The British were losing a lot of men in the War and came to the Colonies to recruit more soldiers to fight. My husband, along with many others, decided to join the RAF and serve his country.”

Despite a recent heart by-pass, 78-year-old Valerie makes sure Michael no longer misses-out on vital services. He now has his own flat, and lives independently with help from paid carers. “Michael wanted his own place, and it makes sense to prepare him for a life when I am no longer here,” explained Valerie.

“I have to pick up all Michael’s problems when there is a crisis. It’s very stressful getting health workers to listen to what you have to say as a carer. Michael has had a lot of mental and physical problems over the years, and I have had to really fight to get medical staff to see him as a person, not just a patient.”

Valerie found out about the Carers’ Centre four years ago. “Now I know where to go when I need advice and information – if I have a problem – I call the Carers’ Centre.” Michael and his mother also attend Two’s Company events so they can enjoy a break together. “I am very interested in helping other carers through the Carers’ Centre. No-one knows more about caring than us and there is a lot of work to do to make sure our voices are heard.”